Dear Useless Kitchen Products Usually Advertised on TV,

I want you.
I want all of you.
You dice, you juliane, you flip, you cook it and bake it. You find me true love. At the same time. You are always shiny, new and improved and willing to solve my problems, in and out of the kitchen.
And I love it.
I want to pay 67 installments of $19.95 just to touch you and place you in the kitchen cabinet. I am a consumer whore.
"I want that!" on HGTV is the worst program for me to ever watch.

Love,

me